07 July 2010

Always Happy, Never Satisfied

The psalm prayer proceeding Psalm 62 in tonight's vespers really caught my attention:

Lord God, you reward each one according to his works.  Hear us as we pour out our hearts to you seeking your grace and secure protection.  We look to you for our stable hope in a constantly changing world

The last sentence really caught my eye.  From time to time, I find myself underling or highlighting small pieces of psalms and prayers in my breviary because they've done this.  I had noted this sentence a while back, but tonight it seemed more relevant than ever. 

You see, I'm really happy that I'm a Catholic.  Sure, there are things and people in the Church that cause me disquiet.  Yes, I feel deeply pained whenever I read negative treatment of the church.  I feel this pain even more deeply when I realize that many of these criticisms are true. 

Am I satisfied with our efforts to evangelize?  No.  Am I satisfied with the quality of liturgy, our catechetics, our preaching ....?  No.  Am I satisfied with my own prayer life, my holiness, my devotion to the Lord?  Absolutely not. 

I am, however, thrilled to death that I'm a Roman Catholic, that I'm a Capuchin novice who will be professing first vows in a few short weeks.  I'm deeply moved by the grace the Lord has given me to pray the Mass each morning and to offer the Divine Office throughout each day on behalf of the church. 

My reason is simple: despite my dissatisfaction with this or that within the all too human Body of Christ, I know that our Lord God will always be a help to you, me and everyone else in a world that is all too often changing for the worse.

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