08 June 2013

Ontological Change

During the last week, in addition to many offers of congratulations and prayers for which I am extremely grateful, many have asked me if I "feel" any different, that is to say, has the imposition of hands and prayer of consecration, ordaining me a deacon caused a recognizable change in my own person.  In two words, do I feel an ontological change?

The answer, and I hate to disappoint those of you who no longer believe in metaphysics, is yes.  I do.

There have been several moments in the last week when preaching, praying and preparing the altar (and blessing water in our font downstairs) that I have indeed felt something different in my own self.  It is more than a sense of greater responsibility and certainly not some type of superiority to others.  Rather, it is something akin to a recognition that the Lord has molded me into something different and that my life will never, ever be the same.  At the same time, there is also a greater intimacy that I have felt with the Holy Spirit -- a sort of supposition that what I'm doing must draw me closer to the Spirit.

So, yes, I've changed.  After being ordained a deacon, how could I ever stay the same?

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